FOLLOWER Friday: The Christmas Tree

  This story was written by Tammy Lewis

My mom always used to say that she enjoyed the Christmas tree best after Christmas was over.  Every year, for a few weeks after Christmas ended, my mom would come home from the store with a new batch of ornaments.  Rather than put them aside for the following season, she would unpack them and hang them immediately on our tree.

I remember watching her rearrange Christmas ornaments, balancing the lot just right until she was satisfied.  Her trees were artwork, and she was at her happiest crafting and dressing her trees.  She always smiled and whistled Christmas carols as she went about her work.  I asked her why she enjoyed the Christmas tree better after the holidays were over.  She observed that after the rush of the season, after all the presents were unwrapped, after all the guests left and all the cooking and cleaning were over, she could finally manage the time to just sit and admire the tree.

In many ways, I have followed in my mother’s footsteps.  Not surprisingly, I share her love for Christmas, and find myself sitting quietly and admiring the tree long after Christmas is over.  I realize I may be alone in my post-holiday appreciation of a decorated tree, but ultimately, I must permit myself to do it. 

There is often no rhyme or reason why we do or enjoy things just a little differently than other people. Happiness is not one event but countless and otherwise ordinary moments in our life - each one unique among a sea of individuals.  I am unabashed in my love of wintry and rainy weather, and do not await the return of the sun as I feel content at the sight of raindrops on the window.  Listening to music is an activity I enjoy as much as any other, but I enjoy it solely while driving my car. Other people may enjoy their cache of music while exercising or working at their computers, activities that I prefer to do in silence.  And further, reading – a verifiable passion rather than just a hobby for me - I take pleasure only while it is late at night, curled up in my bed, and with my dog snoring contentedly at my feet; I never feel inclined to read during the day, on the porch, on the couch, at a café or anywhere else.  

Sometimes, I am unsure if to admit my very slight eccentricities as I want to “blend” in with a crowd, but each of us has something subtly unique that brings us small pleasures for each person is patterned as distinctively as a snowflake in a sky of flurries.  Therefore, we should embrace ourselves and carry on, even if it is just adding decorations to the Christmas tree after the start of a new year.

Secret Santa, Texas Hold’em, Gift Exchange, aka, North Pole Give’em

by Shinazy

This year I celebrated Christmas in California where the majority of my family lives.  All members of this branch are now adults.  I love Christmas, I love everything about it.  But, this year the idea of all that shopping and spending just felt uncomfortable.  To counter that feeling I considered various gift exchange ideas and, similar to many families, the Secret Santa gift exchange seemed best.  Even after making that decision I still felt less like a Secret Santa.  You see, as a boomer, I really have everything I need; I have no need for more stuff.  Did any of us really need more stuff?  My answer, “I think not.”  But if not, then what?

More days of weighing possibilites.  Then the ah-ha moment - you know the one: You’re in the shower with a head full of suds and wham . . .  the perfect thought forms and you just know it’s The Answer.  The answer to my problem was a spin on the traditional Secret Santa gift exchange.  Instead, we would have a Charity Exchange.  No shopping.  No stuff.  Just giving.

The only rule was that the charity had to be legitimate, a 501 (c)(3) organization.  www.irs.gov/charities/charitable

The process was easy: each person would bring a gift-wrapped note stating his or her charity and each of us would put $25 into the pot.

Now, there were many ways to decide which charity to contribute the collected $250.  But, since my family is a card-playing fun group, I decided we would play winner-takes-all Texas Hold’em.

After Christmas dinner, instead of Secret Santa, each person opened a lovingly wrapped package declaring the charity they would represent in our Texas Hold’em Gift Exchange game.  We followed Hoyle’s rules.  I followed my son’s strategy.  He followed his betting system.  My daughter followed her instincts.  Our card-shark followed his Vegas ways.  His wife followed his tutoring.  Our jolly, white-haired patriarch followed . . . his giving ways.  We all followed fun.  We posted the blinds, and bet, and raised, and called, and checked.  Several of us “went all in” and won, others lost.  (Y’all gotta know the lingo.)  At the end of this festive evening, the winnings were donated to Oakland Children’s Hospital.  One of our family members works at a company who will match our $250, so our total Secret Santa, Texas Hold’em, Gift Exchange gave $500.  Now, that feels good.

Everyone enjoyed the concept and we had just as much fun opening our one gift and playing to win for a charity.  This is now my family’s Christmas tradition and we named it North Pole Give’em.  

Next year, try North Pole Give’em at your home . . . I guarantee a fun and rewarding experience.

I think Santa is happy.

 Here are the organizations in our ‘gift’ exchange

• Camp Grace-South Austin, providing programs for children with special needs

            www.fefc.org/#/ministries/special-needs

• Friends of the Urban Forest, making San Francisco greener

www.fuf.net

• Muzart World Foundation, restoring music and art programs to public schools

www.muzartworld.org

• Oakland Children’s Hospital, full-service hospital just for children

www.childrenshospitaloakland.org

• Save the Children, creating change in the lives of children

www.savethechildren.org

• SPCA - East Bay, welfare of cats and dogs

http://www.eastbayspca.org/page.aspx?pid=415

• The Human Society, animal protection

www.humanesociety.org

Holiday Traditions

  by Shinazy

Ah, December, the month of festive merriment -- Homes filled with the sound of the Kitchen Aid mixer blending…2 cups flour, 1-cup sugar, ½-tablespoon cinnamon…warm delightful fragrances filling each breath.  All efforts focused to honor the season with one well-planned celebration.

Except in my childhood home - there the Tasmanian Devil reigned.  December was a bustling whirlwind: Hanukah, 3 children birthday parties, 2 adult birthday cocktail revelries, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, my parent’s anniversary soirée, and, of course, the New Year’s Eve bash.

For us Black Friday was “Decorating Day.”  My grandmother would arrive in an overloaded sleigh, resembling a Ford pickup, packed with the products of her yearlong effect.  Every year she designed and crafted the decorations.  I have memories of her 5, 6, & 7 feet tall candles, made from 10 inches diameter cardboard tubes, painted with military precision red and white stripes.  Fanciful gold and silver driftwood on which hand-made ornaments floated from spider silk.  Copper tubing contoured into all manner of holiday shapes.  And, there were all those decorations for the various one-day events – installed in the morning, dismantled at night to ready the house for the next fête.

Our Christmas dinner table was equally diverse.  Yes, there was the ham studded with its array of clove pegs aligned in their juicy trenches.  Yes, there was that green-bean dish with its golden tanned globs of white goo.  (I firmly believe roasted marshmallows have one purpose: to sit on a chuck of melting chocolate, barely contained between two pieces of graham crackers.)  In my multi-ethnic family, the all-American ham and green beans were surrounded by an array of international delights.   Lumpia, hand-rolled by any child over the age of 7.  Nigerian yams, so shiny from the corn syrup and butter you could see your reflection.  Fried udon noodles, seasoned with exotic spices I still find unpronounceable.  Stir-fried snow pea leaves.  Transparent layered croissants.  The United Nations represented on one table.

After I became aware of the outside world, I discovered everyone had a tradition – something that heralds this time of year.  On Christmas Eve, my friend goes to a local dairy to buy fresh eggnog with the intention of bringing it to the gathering of friends the next day.  However, she always arrives with a bottle of wine because . . . that quart of nog only has a sip left in the container.  This has become her holiday tradition.

When it was time for me to form my holiday traditions, I wanted something calmer than the activity of my youth.  I also wanted my children to have memories, a tradition we could claim as ours (but, one without ham and marshmallows.)  So, every year we select a country and celebrate that country's seasonal customs and foods.  This year is Peru, with a few modifications: I’ll set the clocks ahead five hours so that they chime midnight when it’s only 7:00 PM and use corn nuts rather than chulpe.  However, I’m still conflicted about roasting guinea pig –I wonder, is it really just an itsy bitsy tiny ham?

photo by Laszlo-photo